


Voltron:LD Drabbles and Stories

by Crescent_Blues



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: ADHD, And refuse to call it Shatt, Angst-y, Anxiety, Autism, Coran and Shiro Bromance GO!, Coran is the REAL Space Mom, Galra!Keith, Good!Zarkon, I'll add more as I go, Internalizing stuff, Keith and Shiro are Siblings, Mentions of gore and blood, Miro, Missing Earth, NB Pidge, Obsessing, Other, Panic Attacks, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Shiro has guilt problems, SlightlyNotCompletlyHuman!Shiro, The first couple of chapters are kinda, also, and everything problems really, because i am trash, fight me, i guess, impliedddddd, mentions of - Freeform, self doubt, so far - Freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-09-06
Updated: 2017-01-01
Packaged: 2018-08-13 10:44:15
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 10
Words: 4,507
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7973917
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Crescent_Blues/pseuds/Crescent_Blues
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Dabbles and stories done for my favorite show. What is order.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Looking

The stars never changed.

Not at home.

Not on the roof.

They always stayed the same, guiding you, lighting your path, showing you what was possible.

And then they betrayed you.

They took your father, they took your brother, and they took your brother's friend.

All the Garrison did was cover it up, the words, ” _pilot malfunction_ ”, and, ” _Kerberos mission lost_ ” would dance in their ears for hours and days and weeks and months.

So they broke in.

They broke in, again and again and again.

They broke in until they were banned from the grounds.

And then they came back, were called 'Mr. Gunderson’, and kept looking.

But, this time, they went to the roof.

They went to the roof and built and built until they had equipment beyond what the Garrison had.

They kept looking.

Watching.

Waiting.

And one night, radio chatter that wasn't theirs broke through the static and empty channels.

That night, they laughed, and the next day, were all the brighter for it, because they were at least one step closer.

One step closer to finding them.

After that, the stars only gave them information and peace and quiet.

Then, their friends followed them.

Their friends followed them to the roof, and they told them their story.

Of how they had found aliens, of radio chatter not their own, energy sources and elements not of Earth, of _Voltron_.

Of how everything was going to change.

And then, one part of it fell from the sky.

Fell from the sky in a ship that wasn't from any Earth space craft.

Fell from the sky with a metal arm and ravings of beings coming for them.

And they went into the desert, they all did.

New friends and old.

And they _found_ _something._

They found an alien warship.

They found an alien warship and they found the people who had taken their brother and their father, who had imprisoned their brother's friend.

They found aliens offering help and guidance.

They found Voltron.

They found coordinates and information on their brother and their father with their brother's friend standing right next to them.

And it was just like they had said.

_(Everything you know is about to change.)_


	2. Lies

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "I'm okay."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have Hayfeverrrrr. Fuck you Ragweed. Writing things makes everything better

“I'm okay.”

He would say it every morning when he walked into the dining hall, say it when somebody caught him staring at a wall as his vision and hearing were flooded with blood and gore and screams, when he was disassociating and they caught him blankly staring ahead, when they saw him wandering the halls at night.

“Everything is fine, you don't need to worry.”

He was. He was okay, he was fine.

He said it every morning, since he realized he wasn't going to go home. Since he realized he was stuck in the arena.

Forever until the day he died.

Until he wasn't.

And he saw _Earth_. He saw Earth and deserts and wood and caves and the _sky_. He saw the sky and the stars, _his stars_ , in the sky and the moon and the sun.

Only to have it all taken away again.

“It’s alright, nothing's wrong.”

He was.

Nothing was wrong with him, and he could handle it.

It was just a couple nightmares.

Just a couple panic attacks.

Just a couple of tears.

Just a couple of flashbacks, of blood and screaming and magic and  _pain_.

"I'm fine."

He  _was_.

They were just overreacting.

They didn't need to worry about, he was the  _leader_ , he wasn't allowed to be weak in front of them, and that was okay.

He could handle this.

He was  _fineokayalright_.

And if he just kept telling himself that…

Maybe, one day, it would be true.

_(You can’t keep lying to yourself forever.)_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please?? Send me prompts?? Also reviews??? If you got the time??


	3. Ache

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "I miss it."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Internalizing stuff ain't healthy.

“I miss it.”

He did. 

He missed it, so, so badly.

So much, that his heart ached.

His family, and the sun, and the rain.

His  _Mamá_  and his _Papá_ , and his Dad and his brothers and his _hermana._

He missed his cousins and his _abuela._

“I want to go home.”

The smell of the ocean, and the storms, of sea spray and water, of his  _Mamá’s_ cooking.

The sound of seagull cries and the yelling of many people in one house, of laughter and scolding, of rain hitting the concrete, of waves pounding in his ears.

He missed Earth.

Earth, and it’s sky and clouds, and _rain_ , god he missed the rain. Earth and its oceans and streams and rivers. Earth and its sand and starfish and seashells and tide pools.

“I can’t do this.”

He couldn’t, he wasn’t strong enough, or smart enough.

Everyone else could do something that he couldn’t, or could do it better.

He couldn’t build things.

He couldn’t hack or code.

He couldn’t fly circles around the enemy.

He couldn’t _fight_.

He was useless.

He was dead weight.

“Find somebody else.”

Maybe they needed him now, maybe they needed a Blue Paladin at the moment, but they’d find someone else.

Someone better.

Someone fit to be the Blue Paladin.

Someone who could focus, who could do what needed to be done and didn’t get distracted, someone who knew what they were doing, someone who didn’t forget to do the one important thing because they got sidetracked doing something else.

Maybe then he could go home.

Maybe then he would see his home.

His family.

_ (Why did it hurt so much to be alone?) _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Because one day, it's all gonna explode.
> 
> (It does. And when it does, god does it hurt)


	4. Air

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "He just had to breathe."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What's this, three fics in three days?

“I need a break.”

It was too fast, everything was to fast.

He was breathing to fast, but the air wouldn’t go into his lungs, catching in his throat and choking him.

His thoughts were racing, too fast, too fast.

Everything was too loud.

Too loud, too fast.

Everything is making him jump, he just needs to calm down, he just needs to _breathe._

“Gimme a second guys.”

He didn’t want to eat, he didn’t want to put _anything_  on his plate, didn’t want to stomach down food.

He was too _heavy_ , not heavy, but just _laden_ , feeling like just moving is some Herculean task.

He doesn’t even want to _see_  food, doesn’t want to eat.

He just…

He couldn’t bring himself to do it.

He couldn’t.

He knew he’d feel worse later, but he just couldn’t.

“I’m okay buddy, I just need a moment.”

He couldn’t breath, he felt like he was going to vomit, like he was going to explode.

Shaking and shaking while he tried to calm down, he just need to breathe, it was _all in his head_ -

Just breathe.

He just had to breathe.

He can’t speak, he can’t function.

He _can’t_.

It’s late, and he _knows_  that, but it _hurts_ , and he can’t breathe, can’t stop his heart from beating so fast.

Can’t stop shaking,

Can’t stop panicking.

_(It’s too fast, it’s too fast, it’s all in your head, but god does it hurt, god does it hurt.)_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Anxiety is suffocating, let me tell you.


	5. Overwhelmed

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "It was too *everything*."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wrote this last nightttttt

“Shut up!”

It was too _loud_ , _they_  were too loud.

It was too bright.

It was too _everything._

So much that it made his head hurt.

Made him want to scream and claw off his ears and gorge out his eyes and scratch his skin till it bleed just so that he had something _physical_ to focus on, and not just his _stupid_  head.

He _hated_  it.

He hated to much.

“Go away!”

He hated himself.

Hated the purple patches he would see on his skin to remind him of just exactly who he his, _what_  he is.

Hates the migraines from hearing too much, from seeing the world too brightly.

Hates it when his eyes burn yellow in the middle of the night when he can't sleep, when his teeth are knives and when his claws tear up the bed and walls, because he _needs_  to destroy something before he destroys himself.

Hates having to bite into plastic just to calm down, to have control.

He hates it when everything goes wrong and doesn't follow the Plan, _his_  Plan.

He hates it all.

“Leave me _alone!”_

And it _burns_  inside, the hate.

It burns and burns and burns, until it's consuming everything and all he can see is _red._

Red and purple and magenta.

And it _infuriates_  him.

He wants it _gone_ , doesn't want to have his stupid DNA, wants to be human.

Wants someone to stop fixing his room by the time he wakes up, and he doesn't know how they do, but they _do_.

Wants someone to stop putting new stim necklaces on the hooks by the door when he chews through an old one.

Wants someone to stop making him food in the middle of the night that looks like something his dad told him about. 

Wants someone to stop fixing the gladiators so that he can fight them, and leaving bandages and antibiotics in the locker rooms by the time he's done.

He wants it to stop.

He wants it all to just _stop._

_ (How can somebody love other people so much, but hate themselves into infinity?) _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Obviously I'm a wizard, for getting out this many fics.  
> Obviously.


	6. Obsession

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "They could do this."

“I’ll go to bed soon, promise.”

They needed to keep looking, they needed to keep going, keep going, keep going till they found them.

What if, what if something was wrong.

If something had happened.

What if they were _dead -_

No.

No.

Don’t think about that, don’t think about that, _keep looking._

They just needed to keep going.

They could do this.

They could.

“Just one more minute, I’m almost done-”

They could keep going, they didn’t _need_  sleep.

No, really, they were fine.

They were!

They just needed to keep looking, a minute not looking is a minute wasted, a minute where they could be _suffering._

They needed to keep looking.

They needed to _find_  them.

They didn’t need to eat.

They didn’t need to sleep.

They didn’t need to take a break.

They needed to keep _looking._

“Let me finish this, real quick, alright?”

One more tick not searching and hacking and watching is another tick they’re not _here_.

They're not _safe._

They had to find them.

They _had_  too.

Just one more invention, just one more tweak, just _one more bit of tech to help the search_ -

They were fine.

They couldn’t give up.

They had to keep looking.

_(If you obsess of something, it’ll slowly swallow you up, until there's nothing left.)_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ahhhhhhhh  
> I'm almost doneeeee.  
> Just Allura and Coran, hoo boy.


	7. Alone

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "They were *children*."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I sure do love writing sad things when I'm supposed to be trying to sleep, goddammit Cressy.

“Oh, don’t worry about me.”

Silly, Paladins, worrying about an old futz like him…

He was an adult.

And he was fine.

They were _children._

And they were not.

Number One was drowning in his memories, he could see it, he _remembered_  it.

Remembered that kind of drowning.

Number Two was suffocating. Suffocating as it all came down around him.

He knew what that was like.

Number Three was crumbling in on himself, breaking into pieces.

And didn’t he know what that was like…

Number Four was overwhelmed, being swamped by everything around him, feeling out of place.

Feeling alone…

And Number Five...Number Five was being swallowed up by an obsession, to do _something,_ to do _anything._

He definitely knew what it that was like…

“Poppycock, I’m right as rain, and don’t you forget it!”

He knew exactly how they felt.

To feel like everything you’ve ever done or seen is going to _crush you_  with it’s weight.

To feel like you weren’t actually doing anything, that you were _useless,_ that you were dead weight…

To feel like everyone else was moving forward when you _weren’t._

To feel like everything was simple to much and that you wouldn’t be able to handle it.

To feel like you couldn’t do _anything_  to help the people you cared about...

Quasars, he knew how that felt.

And the Princess…

She was being pulled down into nightmares and something she never should have had to deal with.

He despised it.

“Bet you weren’t expecting that, you silly Paladin!”

He wanted to punch a wall, to destroy a gladiator when he saw them all, _children_ , by any standards, no matter what they said, fighting a war started by their predecessors.

Children to him.

He wished the _others_  were here, _adults_ , grown and able to fight, taught since they were chosen to protect and defend.

Not _children._

He wished his _friends_  were here.

He wished the King and Queen were here.

He wished he wasn’t _alone_.

Wished all the people he cared about and were close to weren’t _gone._

Wished his friend had never been infected by that _witch..._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Any of you follow notllorstel on tumblr? 'Cause if you do, then you know exactly who I'm talking about, and that makes this a thousand times worse.
> 
> Ah ha.
> 
> I love suffering.


	8. Nightmare

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> She wanted to *destroy* something, to utterly *obliterate* it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ayeee, finished my character study seriessssss.

“I miss it, just a little...but that’s alright, it doesn’t matter now.”

It did.

She knew it did.

She missed it.

She missed her mother and her father, she missed the old paladins, she missed her _‘aunts’_ and _‘uncles’,_ she missed her planet, she missed the fields of juniberries.

She missed _all_  of it.

She want to go _home_ , she wanted to see her father, to see that this was all just a horrible dream, that the Black Paladin had never turned, that it was all just a _nightmare_.

She didn’t want to believe that any of this was _real_.

“Oh, that’s just some old equipment, we don’t need it anymore, just put it in storage.”

They didn’t.

They didn’t need the old furniture or toys of clothes for Altean children.

There were no more Alteans to use them…

Their was a possibility of Alteans that had escaped, that were alive…

But that chance was so slim…

And hoping just meant more heartbreak.

She didn’t want to dream, to hope for something so unlikely to happen, that when she was proven completely wrong, that her heart broke even more.

She didn’t want that.

She _wanted_  to hit something.

She wanted to _destroy_  something, to utterly _obliterate_  it.

To crush it into _thousands_  of pieces…

“No, it’s alright, I can clean up the crystal shards myself.”

To have the old Red Paladin there to cheer her one, to train with her.

To have the old Blue Paladin there to mess around with her, to make her laugh.

To have the old Yellow Paladin there to tell her stories, to make up fantastical lands with.

To have the old Green Paladin there to explore the new planets they found, to discover things with her.

To have the old Black Paladin there to tell her of all their adventures with the Yellow Paladin, to train with her and the Red Paladin, to scold her and the Green Paladin when they got into a mess they shouldn’t have, to tell her horrible jokes with the Blue Paladin, to call her _niece,_ and joke around with her father and mother, and she just…

“It was just a little nightmare, it’s alright.”

She didn’t even…

She couldn't do this…

Because they were _gone._

They were all _gone,_ and the Black Paladin had turned on them, had followed the witch, had _betrayed_  them.

Had turned his back on them.

Had _destroyed_  them.

Destroyed everything.

What had they done wrong?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ah haaaa.  
> Why do I do this to myselfffff.


	9. Qualified

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Late night wanderings

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm writing a big thing right now, and I wanted to post something for all youeses.  
> I don't think it's to choppy, but whatever I spent time on it.

When he couldn’t sleep, Shiro would wander the castle.

He would go through the corridors, the vents, the doors and halls, making a map in his head, because…

Because…

He didn’t know.

But their was a _good_  reason, he was sure.

Sometimes he would end up in the kitchen and stay there, maybe the control room, or even outside one of the paladins doors, just to make sure they were okay.

(He checked up on Pidge and Keith the most)

(He owed it to Matt and Captain Holt)

(He owed it to his mom and dad)

No matter how much he _hated_  it, he’d go to the training deck.

Just to practice.

Just to get stronger.

Because out of all of them, he was the most qualified.

_He was the most qualified._

_ He was barely an adult. _

He was, what, _twenty five?_

Shiro was only a senior officer, if he even had that title anymore.

(He was legally dead, wasn’t he?)

He wasn’t a captain.

He wasn’t a _leader_.

No matter what the other told him.

_And they were all so young._

Pidge was fourteen.

Hunk, Lance, and Keith were barely eighteen, or even _seventeen_.

_They were all child soldiers_.

And, god, he was _leading them_.

He _hated_  it.

_ So much. _

He didn’t know Hunk and Lance all that well, but _Keith_...

Keith was his _little brother,_ that loved space and the dark and hated dogs and the color orange.

( ~~When Shiro saw the Galra for the first time, it felt like a stab in the heart.~~ )

Pidge was( ~~n’t Matt, but god were they similar~~ ) so _small_ , and they had a bite, but they were the easiest target out of _all_  of them.

The easiest to fell, to _kill._

All of it made him want to _scream_.

To scream, and rage, and _destroy_.

(Shiro detested that part of him the most out of everything he hated.)

(Hated exactly Haggar had done to him.)

(Hated his uncontrollable rage.)

~~ (That just added more full to the fire, didn’t it?) ~~

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Shiro does. Shiro needs sleep.


	10. The world is not Black and White

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Shiro gets some much needed closure, and the chance to not have to be the adult for a change.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Uh... Hi?

“... Why did you ever make him a Paladin?”

He got no response.

Not that he’d really been expecting one.

Sighing deeply, Shiro ran his hands through his hair, scratching at the shaved sides and dragging his fingers through his bangs.

(No one was there.

It was just him and Black.)

“He’s done so many horrible things, and you just… you _had_  to have know what he was going to do… you were in his head, Black, I know you were!

(No one was here to see his control fraying in mere seconds.)

“Why didn’t you ever stop him?” The Black Paladin scowled(keeping calm all day just made you even more irritated, he’d learned), glaring daggers at the _warship_  in front of him.”You would’ve known! And you just _let him destroy everything!_  You could’ve done something, dammit!”

Hissing his frustration, he started to pace.

(He didn’t know someone had moved to stand in the hanger’s opening)

“You would have known exactly what was happening, you would have seen how _messed up_ ( ~~ _/I am/_~~ ) he was! You would’ve seen how he was really like in the first place!”

(His voice was cracking wasn’t it?)

Shiro _growled_ , his hand lighting up in response to his anger. He let it stay, the metal becoming hotter and hotter as he let the energy build-

His arm went clean through the wall next to him, stabbing a hole straight through the metal, like a knife through hot butter.

Breathing hard, Shiro howled, dropping the pretense of being calm he held onto so desperately.

~~ ( _He was glad he was angry_ ) ~~

~~ ( _He hated that._ ) ~~

“Why did you _ever_ let him be a Paladin? Why did you let him _keep on being_  a Paladin?! Why did you _ever let him-_ ”

“Because he was our friend, Shiro.”

Whipping around, hands pulling up, prosthetic re-charging, stance widening, Shiro stared wide eyed at the figure in the doorway to the hanger.

Two strips of blue-green glowed from far away, purple-pink eyes watching him with a look of disappointment.

Disappointment, as he scrambled to cover his eyes, to curl his hand into a fist, to close his mouth, even as hisses and growls slipped through his teeth, eyes burning with hate that he struggled to control.

No one could know about golden eyes, sharp claws, and pointed teeth, about burns and scars and a temper he couldn’t control.

( _Keith didn’t even know, and that was okay. He’d feel guilty about what happened to Shiro. Keith didn’t need that, didn't need the weight of the crimes of an entire species sitting his shoulders._ )

“Shiro, I've known for cycles.” There was a pause.” You don't need to hide yourself. _Shiro._ ” A hand grabbed his wrist and tore it away from his face, a second one curling around his jaw, pulling it up from where it’d been touching his chest.” _Look at me._ ”

Stubbornly, his eyes stayed closed, his hands stayed curled, and his mouth stayed shut.

This was _his_  to deal with, and _no one else had to_.

His problem and his temper and his _stupid DNA_.

Shiro was the leader, the _adult_ , for God’s sake, and he could( ~~had~~ ) to deal with his problems _by himself._  Not _hand_  them off to other people, who had their _own problems_  and _issues_ and _flaws_. 

_He_  should be able to deal with his own problems.

Not Keith or Pidge, not Hunk or Lance, not Allura, and _certainly_  not Coran.

It wasn’t any of their jobs to play doctor or therapist with him, picking up all the little pieces he’d dropped or didn’t remember.

He would deal with it himself.

He _could_  deal with it himself.

He could deal with gunshots and lights in the back of his mind, he could deal with no sleep and nightmares, he could deal with flashbacks and dissociation, _he could deal with it_.

_ By himself. _

_ And no one else had to. _

And if Shiro had to avoid Coran whenever he could, at all costs, _then that's what he would do, dammit._

So he went limp, carefully tensing his shoulders, pushing himself onto his toes, getting ready to drag Coran down with his weight and kick him in the chest, to push up with his free hands, and to _r_ _un_ -

_ (This felt familiar.) _

_ (The situation.) _

_ (Had he done this before?) _

“You’re afraid of becoming him, aren’t you?”

_...what? _

“You’re terrified of not being ‘worthy’ of the Black Lion, of being the leader of Voltron. It paralyzes you, the idea of not being reliable and in control, of not being infallible. It’s some sort of terrible and inevitable future in your head that if you don’t have absolute control over yourself, and of who you are, that you’re going to turn into some horrible beast and everyone will hate you.

“That’s it, isn’t it?

“You’re terrified of the others hating you, for something that isn't even your fault.”

All of it slipped through his fingers, his anger and annoyance, his loathing… all of it just _melted away,_ until Shiro simply felt empty and _cold_.

“Oh, dear…”

He could feel himself fall down, his knees giving out, and Coran following him to the ground.

“Shiro, there’s _nothing wrong_ , with who you are. It's not something to be ashamed of. You didn't have a choice. _Nothing's wrong with you._ ”

(Everything was blank.)

(He didn't feel… anything.)

“... You don't believe me, do you?”

A sigh.

“Shiro, the other Paladins adore you.”

(Cold.)

(Where was his anger?)

“Shiro, you're being foolish. You don't hate Keith, do you?”

Shiro opened his eyes.

Coran stared right back at gold discs.

“ _Never._ ” It was hoarse and low and it didn't sound like what Shiro was used to hearing, but he choked it out.” _I would never hate him._ ”

“I thought so.”

_ (He could never hate Keith, even if he wanted to, even if he betrayed them.) _

~~_ (He never would.) _ ~~

_ (He was his little brother, his only family left, and that was everything.) _

“So why are you filled with some much loathing for yourself, when you treasure your brother above all else, even though he's a full-blooded Galra?”

Full-blooded Galra.

_ Full-blooded Galra. _

_ Full. Blooded. Galra. _

Shiro stopped breathing.

When air finally found his lungs again, the first thing past his lips was a growled, _“What?"_

“Keith is Galra. You know that. _I_  know that. The Princess _might_  know that. It’s a fact Shiro, one you can’t hide forever. It’s going to come out eventually-”

“ _What it is, is none of your business!_ ”

(That was rude.)

(And he tried to call up his anger, he _tried_ , but he was just so _cold._ )

(Just so _tired._ )

“I find it is my business, Shiro, seeing as how I'm the only qualified medical officer here, and in the cause of a severe injury, I need to be able to appropriately treat his wounds.

“So yes, Shiro. It is my business.”

(Oh.)

Shiro opened his mouth, to apologize if anything else, when Coran held up a finger, causing him to close it with a _'_ _click_. _'_

Coran opened his mouth.

And he then started to speak.

“Zarkon was the Black Paladin because he _deserved_ it. He was a kind soul, a right stick in the mud at times, but his heart was always in the right place. He didn’t start out the way he is now. Zarkon…”Coran took a shaky breath, dropping his hands from Shiro,”He was one of my dearest friends. The Galra Empire was once a single solar system that traded with others, and within the various planets of their own. Zarkon was from the second planet from the sun, and…” Coran's breath rattled in his chest,”The Red Paladin before Keith was from the sixth. The Galra, no matter how much we may or may not wish it, aren't all bad, Shiro. And just because some part of you isn't human anymore,” The mechanic gave a shaky smile,”Doesn't mean you're something horrible and monstrous that needs to be hidden or locked away.

“You don't think of Keith like that, now do you?”

His response was an immediate, though hoarse,” _No._ ”

_ (Why did he have to bring that up again?) _

“Then I don’t see why you need to hate yourself so much, Shiro. You’re a good person who's done things he’s not proud of. And believe me, when I say this,”Coran titled up Shiro’s face,”I understand that feeling completely.”

At that moment, Coran’s face seemed to _melt_  like hot candle wax, four scars tearing up his face from eyebrow to collar, a burn pealing into existence above his right ear, which was torn up, and old tears in Coran’s skin clawed through his face.

He looked _terrifying._

He looked so _tired._

So _old._

Coran was always so lively, it was easy to forget he had to be at least four hundred years old. Not a lot for Altean's… but ancient for humans. Easy to forget that he’d been a solider, been a _Paladin_ , been there when Zarkon had destroyed _everything._

Been there to lose everything.

And Coran _looked_  at him, with ancient eyes, and as he breathed in, he shook.

But his next words were steadier than the Yellow Lion itself.

“Shiro, the world is not Black and White. It's light gray and dark gray. It's just sometimes the light gray is almost white and the dark gray looks black.

“Never forget that.

“Never forget that you’re a good person. You’re a good person who's made some bad decisions, and that’s okay. You’ve done bad things for good reasons, or because you didn't have a choice. That will _never_  be your fault. Never.”

Shiro felt like he was choking as Coran said that, his throat closing up, and he couldn’t _breathe._

“*I’m sorry. I’m so, so sorry.*”

“It’s okay, Shiro.” And then he was sliding forward, his head hitting Coran’s shoulder and his arms pinned to his sides as Coran _hugged_  him.

“It’s okay.”

And for the first time since Matt was taken… Shiro _cried._

“It’s okay.

“It’s not your fault.

“You have _nothing_  to be guilty for.

“It’ll be okay Shiro… just you wait.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm just... gonna leave this here... okaythanksbye


End file.
